Getting married does not have a timeline.
When you should or should not commemorate ‘one’ must not be dictated by social norms of yesteryears . The right time to get married is when you feel it’s RIGHT.
But sadly, that’s something that not all can agree to. (yes, we all are aware of the nagging aunties & uncles who poke their nose into business that doesn’t concern them!)
So, why does society think it’s best to get married early?
Some of their concerns sound reasonable while others are simply too old-fashioned and irrelevant in today’s world, growing stale with the advancing generation. Here, we have highlighted few popular taboos:
Concerned about falling into bad relationships
- Societal Reasoning : This one is a classic. Apparently when kids hit puberty they have the tendency to deviate more into ‘Bad’ habits & relationships and bringing them to their ‘right’ conscience is by getting them settled early. They think marriage makes people more decent and responsible. They are also afraid that the good ones will be ‘taken’ soon.
- Our view: People choose their own ‘right’ and ‘wrongs’ and don’t become ‘bad’ just because they are ‘single’ for a long time. Having a compatible partner is an added bonus but marrying early or late isn’t necessarily the parameter for the choices people make.Life is full of surprises and learnings. The path that an individual takes is an outcome of their own up-bringing and experiences.
Child planning can be difficult if you marry later
- Societal Reasoning: The stressful & hectic work life coupled with matured age increases the chances of crossing the so called successful child-bearing age. Medical science has also backed this reasoning- once you start crossing 30 you start developing health issues. Hence, the ability to conceive a child becomes difficult, raising health risks for both mother & child.
- Our view: Though a valid point, getting married just for an offspring is not a strong reason. Most young couples in their early twenties or teens find it difficult to take up the responsibility of a child because:
- They are usually growing up into adult life and find it difficult to juggle between their own lives and their kids’ lives in a mature way.
- They have difficulty in aligning their financial goals with their kids’ future.
If couples are not satisfied with their career & financial goals, it brings frequent tensions between the family that can lead to unhealthy family growth- affecting the child’s psychology on negative notes.
You will end up being Old ‘ALONE’ & Support-less:
- Societal Reasoning : Late marriage results in no family planning, meaning you may end up being old and frail without having any adult or anyone to look after you at your vulnerable stage. This reason focuses on your well-being at an old age.
- Our View: You can still have a family regardless of getting married early or late. It is a support system of people who dearly and genuinely care for you- they might not necessarily be someone who is from your immediate blood line.Also, Science has offered many boons that gives people a lot more options to plan their family later and gives them support and independence as the old-age approaches.
Why do we think Late Marriages are cool?
Yes, you heard it right! Late marriages can be cool, here are the perks of getting married late:
Couples are more mature & sensible
When young – you are more spontaneous & likely to make mistakes. You don’t have an idea of who you are excatly and how you like things to be, how you would like your life to be. Your thoughts, interests and priorities keep evolving as you grow, trying to find who you truly are- what your goals are.
Maybe your perspective on life will change after a few years.
But by the time you are in your late twenties and above, you have tasted the uncertainties of life and are better at tackling & responding to them meaning you can be a better person for your spouse and family.
Better at handling Financial Matters
Most youngsters are poor when it comes to money handling. It’s a phase, spending recklessly on gimmicks and trends or any new gadget that can satiate their spontaneous mind.
Everyone goes through it- and often these habits make one fall into the rabbithole of poor financial planning.
By the time we reach a more mature age- most of us naturally have mastered the art of Money Handling. And since you can handle your personal finances good- doing it so for your family & with your spouse will be an effortless task.
One less thing to worry about on a constant basis.
Career goals are aligned
Yes, we make plenty of mistakes in our early 20’s- switching careers after careers, busy finding our calling. Introducing marriage into this mix can shake up the dynamic & cause unnecessary frustration.
It’s impossible to shape other aspects of one’s life until one shapes him/her-self first.
When marriage & family is involved, one often finds it hard to make independent decisions.
Often having to say NO to opportunities. Knowing you have lived plenty of mistakes & spontaneity gives a sense of satisfaction- that you are not missing out on anything.
A confident mindset in these areas of life can give you more ease in working towards your married and family life.
Better at Managing Family relationships
Nothing can quote our point better than Chetan Bhagat’s line in ‘2 states’ on how in India marriage is a union of two families and not just individuals.
This is a universal fact- getting along with your in-laws is the trickiest thing to deal with.
Again, since you both have a ‘mature’ mindset, you will find it easier to communicate or maintain a healthy relationship with your significant other’s family, instead of getting spiralled into an ugly family drama.
Early Marriages Vs Late Marriages, what’s our call?
Both are great! They have their own pros & cons and are completely subjective to YOU & your partner. Society, including us, don’t have a say in the choice.
Make a choice that you think is best for your life.
Getting married early or late, doesn’t necessarily guarantee a definate happy ending.
What brings meaning to marriages is love, understanding and capability to work as a team on achieving the goals of your life.
It is a journey, a risk- a beautiful one that you must take up only when you feel absolutely convinced about.
Get in touch with Wedding Tales Matrimony if you still have few doubts regarding the matter but have the heart to marry ( no matter what legal age).
Get done and dusted with ‘the log kya kahenge’ troubles.