To get married or Not?

Widows(ers) Quest: To find love again or not?

The loss of a close person- your spouse, might seem like an almost impossible grief to recover from, and so is the lingering stigma attached to the word ‘WIDOW(er)’, often preventing one from reconnecting with the warmth that a close companionship offered.

A desire to rekindle new hopes, to unravel new beginnings is only natural and, if it’s been on your mind- we hope this blog can help you in your journey to rediscovering it all again. 

Why get married again?

Getting ‘married’ again is a personal choice, a good one if you want to. Before we drive closer to ‘the question’ – we let our own thoughts and others’ opinions consume our conscience, making our decision-making process a messy one.

How will people perceive me? Will someone want to get married to me? Am I young enough to get married?  Will it be fair to my demised spouse? Is my love for him/ her diminishing?

And if you happen to have kids- Will my kids be happy with this new decision I take up? Will they accept the new person I bring into life? 

The list of judgement thrown off by ourselves and others will never seem to cease but it’s important to clear the fog and see what’s truly good for you.

As human beings, we crave a partner who can understand us, with whom we wouldn’t hesitate to share every aspect of life- and it’s okay if you feel ready to navigate the plane of life with someone again.  

But still, how soon is too soon? 

This question might ring multiple times inside your head, even if you feel you are ready to venture out. But before giving your newfound relationship a try, it’s better to take a few things into good account : 

  1. Make sure you have grieved & healed 

Before setting out on anything new you must recuperate on healthy terms. Instead of bottling up your sadness, it’s best to let it out. 

We think avoiding our emotions will allow us to escape reality. But it doesn’t, running away from sadness only makes us more shallow.

It’s important that we accept the fact, give ourselves some wallowing time, let out our emotions and eventually heal through it. 

This period might differ from person to person, some might take a few months while others can take almost a year or two- depending on their need to recuperate. 

It’s only when you heal that you can provide and receive ‘love’ and ‘care’ sincerely. 

  1. Do it because you truly want it, not for others. 

Families and close friends desire the best for you, wanting to see you spring back bright & healthy too soon. 

Often failing to realize that maybe getting into a new ‘relationship’ isn’t the best solution if you haven’t grown out of it. 

Also, at times factors such as being a single parent to your children could influence you to make haste decisions. But the marriage is unlikely to be fruitful if you step into it with unresolved feelings. 

Hence, it’s a decision you must make for ‘yourself’- are you truly ready?  Leading back to our first point~ have you healed from it? 

For you will only be able to offer love & care once YOU set yourself free from the grievance period. 

  1. Getting over hesitations, fear & overthinking 

The internal battle is the toughest one to conquer. 

Once thoughts of ‘re-marrying’ start to resurface post your recovery period, a chunk of us put ourselves through a guilt trip, on the toxic loop of judgemental thoughts. 

We start having thoughts such as, ‘Did I not love the person enough? Is that right? Was it even love if I am feeling the need to explore again?’. 

There is no need to be harsh on yourselves. Your feelings are valid and are a positive sign of ‘you’ being completely ready to set on a fresh journey. 

Embrace a Fresh Start 

Your love for the one that seems to be slipping away doesn’t always diminish. It stays like a cherished memory. No one is asking to forget those feelings. Making space for new experiences doesn’t make you a bad person. It means you have healed and are ready to take hold of the rest of life again. 

If this feeling has been resurfacing and is finding yourself at a loss on where to start from, reach out to us at The Wedding Tales Matrimony, an elite matchmaking platform.  

We hope you are able to offer yourselves the love & courage you deserve in order to set out on new journeys. 

With Love, 

Wedding Tales Matrimony

January 31, 2022