The word ‘DIVORCE’ is often echoed through negative space, leaving many divorcees under the impression of being ‘unreliable’ candidates for long term commitments.
Often a ‘hotly’ debated topic, stereotyping someone’s reliability on the basis of their marital status is a norm in society.
In an environment that labels them with a taboo, it might seem like a tough call when it comes to even think about getting re-married.
Unlike the society we are so conditioned to live in, we celebrate the courage of many who had the guts to do so and definitely believe that you deserve new hopes, fresh starts & THE BEST.
What stops Divorcees from moving forward?
As mentioned, a decision such as splitting apart can be stress wrenching in many aspects, especially post-divorce.
The Judgement Radar
The moment the couple decides to get upfront about ‘leading their own way’, no. of people right from their colleagues, relatives to even one’s very own family puts them on the judgement radar.
This situation scares many divorcees, and before people judge them- they tend to self-judge on a deeper level, the fear of ‘log kya kahangey’ gnawing at their conscience.
The result? Not letting the cross of finding a ‘life partner’ cross their mind, considering it as a sin even if they have been wishing for it.
This fear differs from the judgement fear we spoke about. This fear talks about the lack of trust in marriages, the lack of being vulnerable- the lack of trust in the self.
This stems from the fear of things going wrong because of their past experience.
Often in such cases thoughts like- ‘I am not cut out for marriage, Marriage is a bluff, I am unworthy of love’ starts to stem.
Situations as such require time & healing, an understanding that it’s not necessary that ‘past experience’ will translate into bad experiences again.
In combination with the other factors, for many, The Age factor comes into play too.
‘What’s the point? I am too old for marriage- that too a second marriage?! Or Love at this age? It’s hilarious, I will be a laughing stock!’
Sounds like you? Let us delve further into the topic blog here, and see if it still sounds like a funny perspective.
Why do we think YOU are courageous?
We won’t say that you can magically get over all your ‘fears’ or that ‘nah…it’s nothing, happens to everyone’
Your fears, your thoughts are very valid. Initially, they exist so we can make informed decisions.
Realize that the decision you took had built up over time.
Apart from the nitty-gritty beautiful imperfections of married life, there are times and situations which simply mustn’t be ignored.
Unlike many people who fail to see the graveness of the situation- getting too comfortable, ‘adjusting’ with their faulty reality- afraid of accepting the truth, YOU my friend have chosen to move forward from all of it.
And truth to be told, it takes courage and there is no reason for you to feel sorry & bad about it.
When there are times when you feel the need to reach out, extend to reach your closest friend or family member who understands you solely.
If you feel unable to reach out to them, then taking the help of a therapist might do great in restoring your confidence & optimism.
All in all, it’s only possible if you really want to step out of your wallowing period.
SAY ‘YES’ TO ‘NEW BEGINNINGS
Whatever the reason be, once again kudos to those who chose the best for ‘themselves’.
It’s best to leave what’s not serving you good, behind.
After you have healed, don’t let history haunt you, your past is nothing but an experience, a lesson helping you give the power to shape a better today.
With better judgements & us- The Wedding Tales Matrimony, we are sure you can definitely find more fulfilling & meaningful relationships with that someone who is THE BEST for you.